Unseelie Secrets

Today a thought occurred to me on the train. What if I flayed the scarred skin? Actually peeled it off. Of course after the thought initially struck as if it was an ingenious idea I realised it was completely ridiculous.

Wish the world would fuck off today. Just one of those days. Or maybe I wish that I would just fuck off. Worried about so many things, none of them getting fixed. The ones that I can probably do something about seemed mountainous to me. Take getting out of bed for instance. It takes so much willpower. It's not that I'm particularly sleepy. Its the fact that once I stand out of the bed, the day begins. Same old fucking routine. I walk around trying to convince myself that I feel happy. If I don't, then I am not happy. One little slip into my subconscious world and I'm fucked. I sat on the train with my face screwed up lost inside some flash back I didn't want. Then I saw a woman staring at my face and came out of it. realised what I was doing, picked up a notebook and pen and got on with writing my novel.

It also feels like a pile of piss to me.

How can something decent come out of something completely indecent?

Scared to write. Maybe if I write about sleeping princesses getting raped, somebody will think its a fantasy, drug me up and try to bring it all to life for me.

26563 words into nano. Thats over halfway through, but still behind schedule. I'm hoping to catch up today! Have to have 30000 words by the end of today!

GO LYNDSAY GO!!!




Liadan xxx

11300 words into Nano, AND I've punched my cat. How accomplished do I feel?

Okay, so it wasn't on purpose. I was reaching out to pet her, she was turning to jump off the bed. Her face and my hand collided as she spun helplessly mid air.

She avoided me all night after the incident. First thing I saw was her lying on her back paws up and curled, completely still on the bed this morning. PRETENDING TO BE DEAD.

I seriously thought she'd died of concussion in the night.

Evil thing.

Liadan xxx

She opens her eyes and looks down upon the room. Pristine, neat, everything’s in its proper place. Everything but her arm, lying abandoned in a corner. Her index finger slides along the wooden board at the bottom of the wall, trying to find even a single speck of dust. It’s clean and white, but a splinter slides beneath her skin and she paints her red lips with a single drop of blood.

Those lips move, trying to form words. But there are no lungs, no chest, no neck, no throat. Her tongue rolls out and flops on the floor. The cat stretches out, plucks the carpet and gobbles it up.

She has two legs. They are on the bed, trying to stay pressed together. An external force pulls on them, pulls and pulls. They tear apart and blood spurts out, soaking the bed with a torrent of dead eggs she’s been hoarding for years.

From under the bed her one armed torso hauls itself into the centre of the room. Her gaping neck seems to look upward at the head on the ceiling, staring down as if it has nothing to do with all the mess.

A boy regards his handy work coolly, not entirely satisfied. He cleans a silver knife and places it back on its stand among the many others. Then he walks from the room to his kitchen. He sits down and helps himself to a plate full of greasy chips.

So, about 5000 words in to NaNoWrimo. I wrote about 1500 this evening. Getting the bully scene at the start out of the way. I really don't think its enough to grasp a readers attention though. I like dramatic entrances, but I don't want a 2D cliche...

It's difficult- I've got about 31 scenes planned out, and I know where the rest of the novels going. I've never planned lie this before and I'm afraid its too rigid- but I think it will work well for nanowrimo- getting the first draft out of the way. Then I can completely re-do it.

I'm not sure if I'll use this for my final piece, a 6000 word portion, for my Creative Writing Module. It will be worth 10% of my entire degree and I don't want to mess it up. I hope everyone will be honest with me and tell me if it's the best I'm capable of. I want to submit my best. I'm going to write a short story nearer to christmas again, like the Red Witer, not sure what yet then- but another emotive, descriptive thing I hope.

Well, I'll sign off for now. I hope Matt and Helen are working hard :p

Liadan xxx

It is Samhain, the Celtic new year, and there's no better time to let go. Maybe I'm being forced to let go and start anew, but actually that's ironic. From an act of malice, intended to drag me back into despair and all the horrible feelings of the past, the opposite effect has actually been created. Instead it has provided an opportunity, indeed an absolute necessity, to move on and to leave the mess that was last year behind, writhing in the dust.

I wont let anyone in that I don't want there anymore...and anyone I do want there will be good for me.

So Happy New Year
This year *will* be a thousand times more magickal

Liadan xxx